Online Infidelity

Five Signs of Online Infidelity

In this age of social networking and “disposable marriages,” online infidelity is an all too common problem in many people’s relationships. If you are concerned that your spouse or significant other is engaging in some online infidelity, or behavior that may lead to that, read through these five common signs.

Keep in mind, though, that these signs are not 100% true for all people. Showing a vast majority of them, however, is usually a good indicator that something is going on and secrets are being kept.

1. Increased Time Spent Online

Not everyone that sends excessive time online is having an affair. Some people need to spend hours a night doing work, or subscribe to online video games. If your spouse or loved one is suddenly increasing their techno-time by hours nightly, particularly on weekends, you need to be aware though, as something could definitely be going on.

In addition to this, check and see if they are hesitant to get off of the computer. Do they argue about it, getting defensive at the mere suggestion that they should sign off? Do they act like a teenager and bicker over “just a little bit longer?” If work or gaming is not involved, they shouldn’t be getting upset at a request for the computer to be turned off. They could instead be talking to another person and keeping it secret from you.

2. Sudden Need for Privacy

People engaging in online infidelity will commonly seek to boost their personal privacy and security. If your spouse has always been open regarding their passwords to their Facebook or email accounts, they will likely change them when they begin to participate in activities that they do not want their significant other to know about. In some cases, they may even create a new user account for the computer and have it password protected.

3. Keeping Odd Hours

People expect children and teenagers to stay online all night long on the weekends; it’s part of their mentality with gaming and socializing. If your wife, husband, or lover is beginning to engage in this, consider it a red light. If you’ve woken up to find your marital bed empty, and the computer chair full, you need to start paying close attention to your loved one’s behavior. Something is going on here, online infidelity or not.

In addition to late night hours, you may also notice that your spouse is signing on to the computer first thing in the morning. Many cheaters do this to check for a good morning email or simply to verify that any incriminating files have been deleted, particularly if their partner goes to work later or stays home all day.

4. Paranoia

Often times, someone that was once cavalier with their computer use will become very guarded about it when they dabble in online infidelity. They may become cross or snap at you if you innocently inquire as to what they are doing online. Some may even begin mimicking some of the actions that veterans do when coming back from wars; keeping their backs and computer screens towards walls instead of open doorways, refusing to answer even the most benign question, etc.


They may be on hyper-alert because they are figuratively treading on dangerous ground and don’t want to get caught. In cases such as this, you may want to check the computer after your spouse has left the house for a while. Don’t snoop through everything, but it would be a good idea to see if any passwords were changed at all or if all of the temporary internet files have been deleted, as well as message archives on instant messenger software.

5. Amount of Typing

This is one of the bigger giveaways that most cheaters forget about. Length and frequency of typing is a great indicator of less than admirable behavior. If they are simply online shopping, there should be little or no typing at all, since it would consist of mostly clicking and reading. The same is true for online games where only one or two keys should be pressed at any given time, and for reviewing work at home as well.

If you get the occasional 15 second burst of typing though, and it happens at regular intervals, your loved one is likely engaging in conversation at the very least. If you know they aren’t working on anything and they type for a good long while, they are most likely leaving an email to someone. Be aware of this behavior and considering confronting them about it.