Jealousy In Relationships

The Truth about Jealousy in Relationships

Jealousy in relationships seems to be a common wedge between couples. It’s almost always true that opposites attract and couples will be composed of a very outgoing and flirty individual and a not so social one. This can wreck havoc when trust is an issue. Jealousy is normally teamed up with trust and self esteem. The least self esteem one of the partners has the more likely there will be trust issues and jealousy.

So how does self esteem play out with jealousy in relationships? Feeling badly about oneself means that standards change about how much one feels one can obtain. If you or your partner is having jealousy problems this means one of you or both of you may not be feeling well about yourself. This can happen when one spends too much time focused on the other person and loses care of themselves.

Reflection on the relationship is a good exercise. Thinking about what has caused the jealousy is it internal or external. Internal refers to how you are feeling about yourself and external is how different the other person may be acting. Switching focus to yourself and paying attention to what you need and making use of your time without your partner is a good way to start. If the feelings arise often, ask yourself as to why and where. Maybe it is when your partner or you are gone. Open communication and trust is very important for relationships and if jealousy exist then it is recommended even more so.

Working on self esteem is hard, especially if it was already something that needed work prior to the relationship. It is common for people to date and fill an “empty” feeling with a partner rather than feeling complete themselves prior to looking for a significant other. This empty feeling is something that needs to be addressed prior, like the saying goes “You can’t love someone else until you love yourself”.  

If you are the person on the receiving end of the jealousy, it’s hard to determine why your partner feels this way. Keep open communication about feelings and ask your partner what behaviors they feel jealous about and why. Sort things out and come to compromises that you both feel comfortable with. Your behaviors might be perceived different by both of you and clearing out what you mean by your actions might be of great help. Keep in mind that there is healthy jealousy and it should be expected but jealousy that becomes aggressive and abusive needs to be tamed and examined.

Jealousy in relationships can often stem from past experiences with other partners or that partner’s past. In this case if the relationship is something that will be taken further into a more serious route, seeking counseling through church or behavioral health establishment is the best way to go. This is also a good thing to do if you are already married even more so if children are in the mix as the behavior affects them and can be learned and passed on.

The truth is, jealousy is a strong emotion it involves so much anger, resentment and fear along with anxiety and self worth. Keeping jealousy to a minimum is a must for the emotional and mental health of each person within a relationship.

Keep these tools to help you fight jealousy in relationships. Establish healthy boundaries, give yourselves alone time, keep an open communication and always work on your self confidence and self esteem, maintain friendships and family ties outside the relationship to avid becoming isolated and severely dependant on each other.