Emotionally Unavailable Men

Dealing With Emotionally Unavailable Men

Maybe the best piece of advice one could give as far as dealing with emotionally unavailable men would be - "don't even try". That may seem a little harsh, especially if you find yourself trying to build a relationship with such a person. It's not easy dumping someone you really like. The sad part of it is, that person may not even care.

What do we mean when by the term emotionally unavailable men? The term emotionally unavailable by the way is not gender specific. There are quite possibility just as many emotionally unavailable women as there are men, and it can be every bit as frustrating for their male partners, as is the case with emotionally unavailable men.

Up To, But Not Including, A Commitment - By an emotionally unavailable person we usually mean someone who is unwilling or unable to make a personal commitment, that is, commit to a permanent relationship. The man in question might be the nicest person you could hope to meet, or at least appears to be. He could be funny, charming, adventurous, smart, and have all sorts of likable qualities. He's wrapped up in his own world though and doesn't want to share it with you or anyone else.

The emotionally unavailable man is in some ways a loner, but on the surface may not appear to be. In fact, such a person may crave company, wanting to be around people and needing to have a number of friends and acquaintances. What this person will not put up with however, is a mate, a best friend, a soul mate, or a lover. Someone he needs to make a commitment to.

We're not necessarily talking about making a commitment to marriage, though that's often the problem. We're talking about making a commitment to sharing. Emotionally unavailable men cannot share a part of themselves with anyone else, due to a fear there are strings attached. We all exhibit this behavior at one time or another when we don't want to become to attached to another person, don't want to attend a party, or join a group, for fear of becoming entangled in a relationship. This doesn't mean we're unemotionally unavailable, or if we are, it's usually temporary or situation specific. With emotionally unavailable men it's not situation specific, they're always like that.

What To Look For - There are some things you can look out for to try to avoid getting in a relationship with this type of a person, but bear in mind, he usually doesn't advertise the fact, and may not even think of himself as being emotionally detached. The irony is, sometimes you have to get to know the person before you come to the realization that you really don't know him, or know much about him. Remember? He doesn't like to share of himself. So, he's going to let you know a little bit about him, but not a lot. You'll find he has a hard time committing to most anything, due to a fear of being tied down, or simply put, snared. Emotionally unavailable people are often somewhat narcissistic, and often appear to have no idea as to what they really want in life or where they are going. They are like the person who can never decide upon a career or a course of study, only in this case they can never decide upon a person, because no one is just right for them. They may be looking for that just right person to have a relationship, but they will never find her, because they're afraid of finding her.

So, if you're involved with an emotionally unavailable man, you're probably not going to change him. You're probably not the right one for him anyway, at least in his eyes, and if he suspects you just might be, he's going to head for the hills to avoid making a commitment.