Avoiding Divorce

Top 5 Tips for Avoiding Divorce

No one ever said marriage was easy, and avoiding divorce sometimes takes work.  It requires a commitment from both partners and a desire to continue the marriage.  While it may not be easy, it is possible to step back from the brink of divorce and rekindle what has been lost.

  1. Talk.  The most important tip for avoiding divorce is talking to your partner.  In many cases, you can avoid problems in the first place if you have open communication with your partner.  Do not yell at him or her, and do not blame them for the problems in your relationship.  Instead, you will need to recognize that this is a problem between you, not a problem that one of you has independent of the other.  Talk about it rationally, and talk with the goal of finding a solution to the problem.  By trying to find a solution to the problems in your relationship, you are looking to the future rather than focusing on the problems of the present.  Sometimes it may help to ask questions for clarification or to restate what your partner is saying so that there are no misunderstandings.  It may also help to phrase your statements as “I statements”, in which your statements begin with the word “I”.  This makes it more difficult to blame the other person. Rather, the focus is on how the other person’s actions are affecting you.  Likewise, during these conversations, you will need to listen to what your partner is telling you and try not to get defensive about it.

  2. Make some time.  In today’s society, both partners often work long hours and spend little time together.  When they do have time together, they are often either too busy or too tired to spend quality time with the other person.  Plan a date night, or at least take a few minutes each day to let your partner know you care about him or her.  A simple email, a text message, or a hug can mean a lot and does not take much time. 

  3. Be faithful.  It seems obvious, but the quickest way to ruin a marriage is to be unfaithful.  Even when your marriage seems at its worst, remain true to your partner.  People often justify unfaithfulness by saying that things just haven’t been right with their spouse and that they are unhappy.  Being unfaithful will essentially often put the final nail into the coffin of the marriage.  In most cases, there is no going back after being unfaithful, and avoiding divorce will be extremely difficult.

  4. Be honest.  By communicating honestly and telling your spouse how you feel and what is going on, avoiding divorce will be much easier.  Once your spouse finds out that you have lied to him or her, they will be much less likely to believe you in the future.  Marriages and relationships are built on a foundation of trust, and once you break that trust, it is difficult to regain.

  5. Seek help.  By looking here, you have taken the first step toward rebuilding your relationship.  Sometimes, though, you will need to seek professional help in the form of marriage counseling.  Going to marriage counseling is not admitting the failure of your marriage.  Rather, you are showing that you care enough about your marriage and about your spouse to seek help.  Marriage counseling has been proven to be extremely helpful when both people in the relationship truly want to make it work.

Although avoiding divorce will not be an easy process, if you care enough about your spouse, you will take these basic steps to ensure a happy marriage.  Communication is the key to a happy marriage.  Being honest and faithful, and talking out your problems can make the difference.