Affairs In Marriage



Affairs in marriage are prevalent, and not just in America. It is estimated that 40-50% of men and 30-40% of woman in America will at one point have an affair. Why, you might ask are we having such a tremendous problem with affairs in marriages-especially when we are the ones choosing to live with each other. There are several reasons actually.

Spouses choose to have an affair generally for just a few basic reasons. 1) They spend too much time separated from spouse; 2) one of the parties has an addiction to anything sexual; or 3) they are not getting the emotional support that they need from their spouse.

While it is true, there are a lot of spouses-especially husband/fathers away on training or business trips each year, and there are a plenty of people-particularly with the new internet medium, addicted to sex, the number one cause is the lack of emotional support or the emotional connection needed for a healthy relationship that ultimately drives the wedge between marital partners.

We all know marriage can be a tough road full of the hard times, as well as the good. On the day of ones marriage traditionally each man and woman takes a vow. This vow is one that commits them to one another till death parts them. It is one that calls each participant to love, cherish/honor and commit to pleasing no one but each other. It is one that pledges them to fidelity. What happens many times, though, is that after the first love (the love of new relationship/marriage) wears off one (or both) party finds that their emotional needs are not being fulfilled by the other.

The spouse missing out, so to speak, can often continue to love his/her partner in spite of the emptiness, but at that point the relationship becomes susceptible to one or more affairs in marriage. This often comes by chance when one of them meets someone who makes them smile, forget the stress of the day or just plain hits that button that says ‘emotional need’ in a fulfilling manner.

Inadvertently, this is generally a friend or co-worker. The two are connected already but now begins a new bond (whether either realizes it or not). In some cases both friends are missing out on emotional fulfillment, and without understanding where this might eventually lead are more than happy to let a relationship form.

We are all capable of being attracted to the opposite sex, of falling in love or having an affair with someone we feel can meet our need emotionally. It is up to each married person to keep good communication lines open and available; to let the other know when we are feeling left out and/or unfulfilled.

This, most professionals feel is the key to keeping a balance in the relationship and therefore, keeping the affairs in marriage out of the picture. Let your man know that he does not listen or is not talking to you; or let her know that she is not satisfying you sexually. At all cost avoid jealous anger by bringing up the subject without malice.